Jennifer Love Hewitt Hunts With Food Now

April 11, 2012

Because she’s a favorite in the site and she’s completely bananas, here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt wacky moment of the week!

Last month she was on Maxim, and said she didn’t know why men didn’t hit on her. But don’t worry, crazy bitches are adaptable creatures and she has a new strategy to lure men into her paws and the hell of marriage. She tells US Weekly

“I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla [in my purse] — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck,”  “Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!'”

Oh, crap. We’re fucked guys. The next thing we’ll know is that she’ll be placing giant boxes all over the city, and as soon we grab the Big Mac under them we’ll be trapped. Then she’ll wait until we’re cold, and hungry and offer to super-size the next one if we marry her.

But her strategies don’t end there. She adds:

“I love Booty Parlor’s Kissaholic Aphrodisiac Breath Spray,” she says. “You never know when a make-out moment is coming!”

“I told you! Make-out only after I finish my burger, woman!”

Basically: She stuffs you with food and then makes you want to fuck her. She has all the bases covered it seems. If it was me, with a sandwich would be enough for going steady, at least for a month. But it’s good to know that she’s aiming higher.


Jennifer Love-Hewitt On BWatt

March 9, 2012

I know what you’re thinking: “What the fuck is BWatt? and the answer is: I have no fucking idea. I will assume it’s a new fashion magazine of sorts.


In any case, after her awesome photoshoot at Maxim, the girl is now being featured in this, and it’s crap. I wasn’t even going to post them, but today is a boring day and there’s not a lot for me  to do.


I was also afraid that she might think that posting about her two times in a week means we’re in a relationship, but that means she’ll want to get married by June. But I’ll risk it anyways.


Jennifer Love-Hewitt On Maxim

March 7, 2012

I have to admit that I never thought Jennifer Love-Hewitt was hot. Cute, yes, but not hot. This photoshoot just proved me wrong.


Of course, Maxim is not just about the hot chick, it’s also about what she thinks. Unfortunatelly, Jen is a bit of a bimbo, so the interview sucked. I will add one bit, because it’s funny:

Now that you’re single, you must get hit on a ton.

It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me. I’m not really sure why, but it’s very rare that a guy will ever come up to me and be like, “I’m going to lay down my game right now, and you’re going to like it.”

At least that spares you from bad pickup lines.

Well, I did get one that was so bad I gave the guy 10 minutes of my time. He was like, “Are you Irish? ’Cause my penis is Dublin.” It was so stupid, but I thought it took some wit at least.

Ok. She still doesn’t know why guys avoid her. First of all, she freaked out her last boyfriends because after dating them for only a few months, she tried to force them to marry her.

She also thinks that penis jokes are witty. So basically, she’s as dumb as a brick and nuts about marriage. But she just proved she’s hot, so if I ever see her I’ll say something like “Are you hungry? Because my penis can leave you satisfied” and see if that leads to us eloping.

%d bloggers like this: