Emily Atack In FHM Magazine

March 22, 2012

To be honest, I had to google her and read the article. Apparently, she’s some british actress who did a couple of things, and then she was in ‘Dancing on Ice’ but didn’t win or get that far, so I don’t know why that’s on her resume.

The point is that she could be the hot sister of Kate Upton. So who cares about her career as long as she keeps making these photoshoots. She’s also a bit of a bitch with a huge ego. She tells FHM

don’t go giving her the ‘big I am’ as Emily has told FHM: “They’re arseholes. The classic line me and my friends wait for is “Apparently you’re in some show but I’ve never seen it so I’ve no f***ing clue who you are”. You know they watch it every night. It really annoys me.”

Well, then I know what my pickup line would be: “Oh, you are that cunt who thinks everyone watches every night! Take off your clothes or you’re not worth it”

Yeah, I’m charming like that, ladies. Call me any time. Anyways, here’s the important stuff:

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Jennifer Lawrence Is Mocking Me

March 21, 2012

Last week  I posted some pictures of Jennifer Lawrence at the Premiere of “The Hunger Games” and basically complained that her dress was ridiculous and didn’t show her awesome tits. But I did compliment her ass.

So what did she wear a few days ago in the New York City Premiere? An awesome cleaveage! This woman listens to me, but has no respect whatsoever. Nice cleaveage Lawrence, but hiding your ass under a tent?

She did it on purpose and suddenly made it into my black list.


Sofia Vergara In Esquire Magazine

March 21, 2012

Sofia Vergara is in the show ‘Modern Family’ which I don’t watch, and in the upcoming ‘Three Stooges’ movie, which I will not watch, because I have no intentions of shooting myself.

But it really doesn’t  matter, because she’s always having incredibly hot photoshoots for me to enjoy. Unfortunately, the one in the April edition of Esquire isn’t that good. I mean, there is no way to make this woman look bad, but she’s done better things in the past.

In any case, here are the pictures, they are still worth a look.

 


Courtney Stodden Knows How To Surf

March 20, 2012

I know, I know. I haven’t posted anything in a couple of days. I could make up a lot of excuses, but the truth is: I got really drunk during the weekend.

In any case, just as an apology, here are some pictures of Courtney Stodden learning how to surf and failing. Mind you, these are just for didactic purposes, if you look at them with anything else in mind, you are a pervert


Lady Gaga Doesn’t Care About Me

March 16, 2012

Believe it or not, Gaga doesn’t pay attention to what I say. Which is a shame, because if more women did what I tell them to, the world would be a better place. And my sex life would be awesome!

In any case, she’s cutting herself off the media. This was supposed to be an exclusive on Oprah, but the awesome people of Page Six spoiled it. I love those guys. (via Page Six)

Gaga chose to make the announcement of her hiatus to Oprah, in an “Oprah’s Next Chapter” interview to air Sunday.

“Other than this interview, Oprah, I do not intend to speak to anyone for a very long time,” explains Gaga. “No press, no television.”

“Even if my mom calls and says, ‘Did you hear about…’ I shut it all off,” she said. “I don’t read a damn thing.”

As you can see,  when I said she was a “Weirdo with an ugly face” it was too much. It affected her deeply. It’s ok Gaga, I meant it as a joke. I would go out with you, as long as you assure me you don’t have anything weird in your vagina.

 

In any case, here are some pictures of her with that weirdo Lindsay Lohan stalks. To be fair, she doesn’t look that bad in these, but her lazy eye is fucking distracting.


Vanesa Hudgens And Selena Gomez Are Still Criminals In Bikinis

March 15, 2012

Shooting of this stupid movie, where Selena Gomez And Vanesa Hudgens rob banks and then go partying for spring break continues. And that plotline explains why the movie is called “Springbreakers”

 

Although I haven’t seen any scenes that involves crimes. Just barely legal women partying around. Well, I suppose that a PG version of ‘Girls Gone Wild’ isn’t such a bad idea.

 

 

 


Nicki Minaj Is Also In A Bikini, Not A Criminal

March 15, 2012

If yesterday you asked me ‘Who is Nicki Minaj?’ I would’ve said ‘I have no fucking idea’

 

Today I can give you pretty much the same answer. Except that someone told me she’s like the ‘black Lady Gaga’. Which translates to: ‘She’s a fucking weirdo who sings crappy songs and has an ugly face’

 

And that’s pretty much it, according to these pictures of her, shooting a new video while wearing high heels and a bikini.And she has a giant ass that looks great, and a good pair of also huge tits. So weird and ugly face are completely forgotten.

 


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